https://wildroot.io/c/general/Today’s top posts about General, ranked by Wildroot’s own model.enMon, 12 Oct 2026 10:25:17 +0000https://bsky.app/profile/mehr.nz/post/3mxnfwxt5s22oat://did:plc:v6qwaqo24zfrq5fj7ceibxqk/app.bsky.feed.post/3mxnfwxt5s22o@mehr.nzGeneralMon, 12 Oct 2026 01:54:18 +0000Interviewer: Can you explain this gap in your CV? Scientist: I made it in TeX and can't figure out how to remove the gap but I also don't want to get yelled at if I post a question on stackexchange, so I have instead decided to appreciate the gap, which is still therehttps://mastodon.scot/@ravenbait/117421891750226317https://mastodon.scot/users/ravenbait/statuses/117421891750226317@ravenbait@mastodon.scotGeneralSun, 11 Oct 2026 10:51:17 +0000Mr Bait just came down and said, "Good job I saw you eating jam this morning!" I had cherry jam on my toast and, unbeknownst to me, a blob fell off onto my jumper. He found it on the bathroom floor and, because, well, I frequently have things go wrong, he thought for a moment I'd done something horrible to myself and hadn't noticed yet. Again. But no. Jam.https://bsky.app/profile/andrewwestratoo.bsky.social/post/3mxnkr2po7k2wat://did:plc:jyuw7n46vgoxcewll7eyggxc/app.bsky.feed.post/3mxnkr2po7k2w@andrewwestratoo.bsky.socialGeneralMon, 12 Oct 2026 03:20:28 +0000Guests started to arrive at 3:00. Only 26 this Thanksgiving, a bit smaller than our usual family gathering. But we also had a bluejay join us, which we always refer to as "Dad is here", as he loved his bluejays! Good food, great family - it was a wonderful, fulfilling day!https://mastodon.social/@nervous_jessica/117422913521614130https://mastodon.social/users/nervous_jessica/statuses/117422913521614130@nervous_jessica@mastodon.socialGeneralSun, 11 Oct 2026 15:11:08 +0000Hiked up Overlook Mountain in Woodstock, NY yesterday with my kids (3 and 5 yo). It was the best hiking weather.https://bsky.app/profile/extropiccrusade.bsky.social/post/3mxnfv5jdqc2nat://did:plc:ngo3352epcp2dcby77gbi3bs/app.bsky.feed.post/3mxnfv5jdqc2n@extropiccrusade.bsky.socialGeneralMon, 12 Oct 2026 01:53:17 +0000When the knife is falling, both ends are sharp. So I do not try to grab, I just get out of the way. Which is good because this is where my foot had been a few moments before the knife arrived. Eeek.https://tweesecake.social/@jokes/117425949180222461https://tweesecake.social/users/jokes/statuses/117425949180222461@jokes@tweesecake.socialGeneralMon, 12 Oct 2026 04:03:09 +0000Q: Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the sides of their ships? A: So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.https://bsky.app/profile/davewhite.bsky.social/post/3mxm52a3ka22nat://did:plc:ucbjht4bpbc5a3aizkmibztz/app.bsky.feed.post/3mxm52a3ka22n@davewhite.bsky.socialGeneralSun, 11 Oct 2026 13:42:24 +0000I went into the city for a meeting yesterday, and for the 1st time in my life, I timed everything right. I never had to wait for a train and on the drive home from the PATH, I hit 0 red lights. Crazy.https://beige.party/@Anomnomnomaly/117427242334509379https://beige.party/users/Anomnomnomaly/statuses/117427242334509379@Anomnomnomaly@beige.partyGeneralMon, 12 Oct 2026 09:32:01 +0000When I was a kid... punishment at school involved going to sit in a corner away from the other kids. I quickly realised that if I started a fight with other kids, I could sit in the corner in the nice chair and read. I started a lot of fights.https://bsky.app/profile/dalzell.bsky.social/post/3mxmjhcgg7s2mat://did:plc:gi3a4q2fmonpxaiais2knate/app.bsky.feed.post/3mxmjhcgg7s2m@dalzell.bsky.socialGeneralSun, 11 Oct 2026 17:24:28 +0000It's my birthday! I have lived 27 years more than I ever imagined as a child. Today I woke up and heard thunder, which is proof that Thor loves me and wants me to be happy.https://dice.camp/@Printdevil/117422197047460402https://dice.camp/users/Printdevil/statuses/117422197047460402@Printdevil@dice.campGeneralSun, 11 Oct 2026 12:08:56 +0000Younger daughter "I need a fake moustache" Me "When for?" YD "Tomorrow for school" Me "Bit late to ask" YD "There is literally a box marked Moustaches and Wigs" Me "You've known me long enough to realise that might be a red herring" YD "Is it?" Me "No." YD "You are not tuff"https://bsky.app/profile/larryranting.bsky.social/post/3mxn665rm3s24at://did:plc:zx46zxaglcm3tyoa2gunulmn/app.bsky.feed.post/3mxn665rm3s24@larryranting.bsky.socialGeneralSun, 11 Oct 2026 23:35:09 +0000Women love it when you tell them to smile more, which is why I tell my wife to smile every morning. Wait. That came out wrong. Women hate it when you tell them to smile more, which is why I make my wife coffee every morning instead of asking her to punch me in the face.https://mas.to/@hungry_joe/117426884008483515https://mas.to/users/hungry_joe/statuses/117426884008483515@hungry_joe@mas.toGeneralMon, 12 Oct 2026 08:00:53 +0000gf: there's lipstick on your dick, are you cheating on me? me *remembering earlier when my gf was asleep and i used her lipstick to draw marilyn monroe's face on my dick and made it sing happy birthday to me*: yeshttps://bsky.app/profile/senatorpaulasimons.bsky.social/post/3mxnd7vg2lk27at://did:plc:2wxkdwpu5v66xkue5ti62y6u/app.bsky.feed.post/3mxnd7vg2lk27@senatorpaulasimons.bsky.socialGeneralMon, 12 Oct 2026 01:05:36 +0000Drove out to our family’s farm house north of Edmonton for our Thanksgiving feast. As I drove through Sturgeon and Westlock Counties, I kept my eyes peeled for separatist signs. Didn’t see a single one. But I did spot four Canadian flags, for which I gave thanks! Happy Thanksgiving to all. #Albertahttps://dmv.community/@PaulAnomaly/117419819574692656https://dmv.community/users/PaulAnomaly/statuses/117419819574692656@PaulAnomaly@dmv.communityGeneralSun, 11 Oct 2026 02:04:18 +0000Went to a birthday party for one of my kids' classmates. There were a dozen white dads all in Carrhartts, hoodies, trucker caps and the same beard, and there was me, regretting my shirt with buttons and pants with stripes. An gathering of Amish or Orthodox Jewish men would have had more variety.https://bsky.app/profile/alexgoyette.bsky.social/post/3mxnigf7xds2vat://did:plc:rmxyfyu7hpz4bqmib6j36tym/app.bsky.feed.post/3mxnigf7xds2v@alexgoyette.bsky.socialGeneralMon, 12 Oct 2026 02:38:43 +0000It was not a perfect day for an outdoor birthday party but shoutout to all Ls friends (& their parents) who came and had a blast slip & sliding around with her todayhttps://mastodon.world/@thefathippy/117419506195258785https://mastodon.world/users/thefathippy/statuses/117419506195258785@thefathippy@mastodon.worldGeneralSun, 11 Oct 2026 00:44:36 +0000FMD. Old mate (US based) is visiting again & trying to organise us to do what he wants—put on our rose coloured glasses & dance down his memory lanes. His latest idea. A *school* visit at noon, pub at 7. Won't that be jolly... 🤦 No. I rejoiced when I left school. "but it's where you met all your mates" ...who I stopped seeing within a couple of years... We still generally get on, but aren't close—some have gone full boomer (or always were & I didn't notice).https://bsky.app/profile/maddave7.bsky.social/post/3mxnk5fnysc2uat://did:plc:4ky3prt3lyari75yjrzcu4y4/app.bsky.feed.post/3mxnk5fnysc2u@maddave7.bsky.socialGeneralMon, 12 Oct 2026 03:09:29 +0000When I was a kid, I loved stories where a lord, count, or baron answered the call of adventure. So, I wanted a title of my own and to answer the call, too. The closest I ever came to that was the day the pizza delivery guy called me "Chief" and invited me to have a few beers in his rusty van.https://theforkiverse.com/@Char1ie/117419743095275839https://theforkiverse.com/ap/users/115891738732279908/statuses/117419743095275839@Char1ie@theforkiverse.comGeneralSun, 11 Oct 2026 01:44:51 +0000How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but nobody knows how they got in there. #dadjokeshttps://bsky.app/profile/thatingrid.bsky.social/post/3mxnj5kpbr22bat://did:plc:zd5zduazpht7za3o4ku7p65s/app.bsky.feed.post/3mxnj5kpbr22b@thatingrid.bsky.socialGeneralMon, 12 Oct 2026 02:51:40 +0000Encounter in hospital lift: toddler stares at me. "Why's that lady wearing a mask?" I answered: because I'm protecting myself. His mum: there's lots of bugs in a hospital. 🙃🙃🙃 And yet no other masks to be seen.https://archaeo.social/@mrundkvist/117421296869766026https://archaeo.social/users/mrundkvist/statuses/117421296869766026@mrundkvist@archaeo.socialGeneralSun, 11 Oct 2026 08:20:00 +0000Next week: * Drive my stuff to Hallstahammar * Move into my new 27 sqm part-time home * Begin new job at Västmanland County Museum * Mind my ex's dog over the weekend * Housing area's cleaning day with me cooking soup for the neighbours * Game-master Trail of Cthulhu And you?https://bsky.app/profile/srslymagenta.bsky.social/post/3mxn5bv324s2nat://did:plc:afj3o7yatzf64x5gekjalbad/app.bsky.feed.post/3mxn5bv324s2n@srslymagenta.bsky.socialGeneralSun, 11 Oct 2026 23:19:21 +0000Talking to Lil bro in Oregon. Bro: no, we don't have a HOA Me: ooooh, you could paint your house Optimus colts! Your doorbell could say, "Autobots, Roll Out!" Bro: no, because my doorbell is actually fart noises.... And I'd have to jailbreak my security system, and...(gets distracted)https://universeodon.com/@ThePJN/117418925450852487https://universeodon.com/users/ThePJN/statuses/117418925450852487@ThePJN@universeodon.comGeneralSat, 10 Oct 2026 22:16:55 +0000Kicking open (and breaking) the glass door to the coffee shop and demanding, “Your biggest cartoon sandwich, right neeeeooooww!” The beating I receive shortly thereafter is understandable but maybe a bit lengthy.https://bsky.app/profile/cedar-river.bsky.social/post/3mxnweuex722sat://did:plc:v5wbnqthg5g375crcfk4gino/app.bsky.feed.post/3mxnweuex722s@cedar-river.bsky.socialGeneralMon, 12 Oct 2026 06:48:24 +0000Unlike the past years of my life, when it gets late, I just completely shut down. Need sleep. No helping it. Girlfriend has taken to calling it "turning into a pumpkin." Humiliated and adored any time I start to get super sleepy and I hear the loving coo of "oh no, she's turning into a pumpkin!"https://tweesecake.social/@adisonverlice/117425554593001793https://tweesecake.social/users/adisonverlice/statuses/117425554593001793@adisonverlice@tweesecake.socialGeneralMon, 12 Oct 2026 02:22:48 +0000thank you all for the birthday wishes. man o man was it a good birthday. got to go to kings buffet for dinner tonight and dig the fuck out on pizza. got a brand new roku tv, a bluetooth keyboard, and in storage, my own personal air fryer and microwave. that's right, i'm running the kitchen once the family bakery gets opened. i also have more presentso n the way.https://bsky.app/profile/softboner.bsky.social/post/3mxnfz6qgy22rat://did:plc:tfxqegoeoh5l3gfhjrajx6qz/app.bsky.feed.post/3mxnfz6qgy22r@softboner.bsky.socialGeneralMon, 12 Oct 2026 01:55:32 +0000Do you want to come to my apartment warming party? “Who’s going to be there?” Me. “Who else?” You. “Anyone else?” Probly not. “Does that count as a party?” Depends on what we do I guess. Oh, I forgot. There’s also a mannequin!https://mastodonapp.uk/@londondreamtime/117421383718524919https://mastodonapp.uk/users/londondreamtime/statuses/117421383718524919@londondreamtime@mastodonapp.ukGeneralSun, 11 Oct 2026 08:42:05 +0000Journey back to London from Liverpool took EIGHT hours. Should be more like 3 but trains. I met a young person who was telling me all about their job buying “sold out” designer clothes for clients (and marking them up for profit). It was a long and strange conversation they claimed to have traveled around the world even going to china first class. But apparently they never took photos.https://bsky.app/profile/twiggietime.bsky.social/post/3mxn63gmnys23at://did:plc:btnzxey7iikjtv6amfxmgoaj/app.bsky.feed.post/3mxn63gmnys23@twiggietime.bsky.socialGeneralSun, 11 Oct 2026 23:33:38 +0000Feeding the dog with The Child™ when The Child™ reaches out and knocks the bowl over. The Child™: That wasn't me. Me: Oh? The Child™: I have 56 hands living inside of my body. One of them POPPED RIGHT OUT. Did that. But then it went back." Me: I see.https://sfba.social/@tamami/117420101315786509https://sfba.social/users/tamami/statuses/117420101315786509@tamami@sfba.socialGeneralSun, 11 Oct 2026 03:15:57 +0000Mono Lake, California. The weather was perfect, and most of the time we were the only two. So quiet. #Roadtriphttps://bsky.app/profile/lotographia.bsky.social/post/3mxno4tdzjs2gat://did:plc:spbngfi4oo7q6byokgfo3jxj/app.bsky.feed.post/3mxno4tdzjs2g@lotographia.bsky.socialGeneralMon, 12 Oct 2026 04:20:45 +0000First year university hall residence I was voted "most likely to appear on the 6 o'clock news". I have no idea what that meant. My entire personality at the time was "depressed".https://hachyderm.io/@lady_alys/117419506990521892https://hachyderm.io/users/lady_alys/statuses/117419506990521892@lady_alys@hachyderm.ioGeneralSun, 11 Oct 2026 00:44:48 +0000me on weekdays: I'm so busy with work. I'll do this housework on the weekend. me on weekends: Wow that week was stressful. I need downtime. I'll do this housework during next week. me today: Why no clean underwear?!https://bsky.app/profile/mzcircuit.art/post/3mxnkq4xelc24at://did:plc:q5miroc5igj4anu6pc6s3u3h/app.bsky.feed.post/3mxnkq4xelc24@mzcircuit.artGeneralMon, 12 Oct 2026 03:19:57 +0000Realizing my son will be 3 in less than a month is wild to me.. Where did the time go? He's getting so big now, before I realize it, I'll be picking him up and setting him down for the last time. I miss the days just sitting in our rocker while he slept. But he's growing into his own person nowhttps://hachyderm.io/@zkamvar/117423477469736083https://hachyderm.io/users/zkamvar/statuses/117423477469736083@zkamvar@hachyderm.ioGeneralSun, 11 Oct 2026 17:34:33 +0000Friends are renting a cabin in Mt. Hood and this was one of the notes left in the guestbook. What the hell does this even mean???https://bsky.app/profile/tiare75.bsky.social/post/3mxn5f35x5c2mat://did:plc:uy6l6mmc3aqnom5niujvgmkp/app.bsky.feed.post/3mxn5f35x5c2m@tiare75.bsky.socialGeneralSun, 11 Oct 2026 23:21:08 +0000Me: Back in the 90s, everyone used to put Jack-in-the-Box heads on their car antenna. My kids: 😶 Me: And if you spotted one, you could poke your friend and say “Jack Attack!” My kids: 😶https://hachyderm.io/@advancedrubbish/117423395410015673https://hachyderm.io/ap/users/116635388255983515/statuses/117423395410015673@advancedrubbish@hachyderm.ioGeneralSun, 11 Oct 2026 17:13:41 +0000On the plus sides: - I finally feel well enough to do things like diagnose printers, including moving the 12kg box around to different places - Having fixed the printer “enough”, I now have the paperwork for my Portuguese permanent residency appointment on Tuesday!https://bsky.app/profile/niedermeyer.online/post/3mxn5wf5yyk2yat://did:plc:yn75hmwkitdshnylue6d3grk/app.bsky.feed.post/3mxn5wf5yyk2y@niedermeyer.onlineGeneralSun, 11 Oct 2026 23:30:49 +0000haha I love just checking out all the wild mushrooms this time of ye- what's that? no, actually we didn't see any chantrelles, which is a little weird but no big deal that's just how it is with mushrooms I'm fine with it personally because it's all about like just getting out there right *sobs*https://c.im/@AaronDavid/117424306531591749https://c.im/users/AaronDavid/statuses/117424306531591749@AaronDavid@c.imGeneralSun, 11 Oct 2026 21:05:24 +0000I was sat on the bed the other day pulling my boxers off and my wife said 'You spoil those dogs.'https://equestria.social/@madayar/117422282459456059https://equestria.social/users/madayar/statuses/117422282459456059@madayar@equestria.socialGeneralSun, 11 Oct 2026 12:30:39 +0000Being lonely is talking to an OF Phish on Snapchat for the entirety of my grandmother's noon nap because there might be a real human behind it - sadly, seemingly not. But at least I know that I can still ignore the lure.https://beige.party/@flux/117423958870528707https://beige.party/users/flux/statuses/117423958870528707@flux@beige.partyGeneralSun, 11 Oct 2026 19:36:59 +0000im giving a last mopping down the lobby before my shift is over because it is quite rainy and the lobby begs extra mopping my workmate is in the office watching me through the plate glass window and he yells thats a lost cause ! and i kinda just blow him off because i fucking know its a lost cause but someone dragged really muddy streaks through my bathroom and out the door !! then he claps for me sarcastically i guess ? which i dont even really get but it pissed me the fuck off